A thought on Hot Sauce

H is for Hot Sauce

All men love spicy food. The statement “I don’t like spicy food” is a more verbose way of saying “I have lady parts.” Not convinced? Let the facts speak for themselves and here is a complete list of people who can’t handle spicy foods:

• Pregnant women
• Breastfeeding mothers
• Menstruating women
• Women on menopause
• Children
• Old People
• Animals (except for fish)

This is a complete list of people who don’t like spicy foods, so if you don’t like spicy food, then you must be one of the above listed.

Pregnant mothers are notorious enemies of hot sauce because they’re discouraged from eating spicy foods to protect their unborn children. Well, I say that they should in fact eat extra spicy food. It’s a great way to strengthen the child. If I had things my way, hot sauce would be the primary ingredient in baby formula.

For fans of spicy food, it’s sometimes difficult to find food with any heat at restaurants. The reason is because people who think they like spicy food go to restaurants, order their food spicy, and then complain when they can’t handle it. This has caused a gradual shift toward less spicy recipes in the restaurant industry.

So I say embrace spicy food. Ask your waiter for hot sauce and don’t be afraid to do the dance of pain as your tongue is on fire and you scream searching for some sweet relief. Sure, it may not get you the girl, but spicy food is the only way to go if you’re a real man!