I should be happy.
I mean, I'm pleased with my current state of being but, at the same time, I'm not pleased.
It's almost December 2015 and I've been living in my new home for almost 2 months now. Oh yeah, so I moved away from Yonge/Finch. I'm now an official Markham-ite (I think that's the proper term.)
It's interesting living up here. In many ways, its not that different then living back in North York. The streets here are rarely empty, always buzzing with activity. Thankfully, I face away from the main street and so am not bothered by the hustle and bustle. There are many different places to eat although most are Asian. Hopefully my next move will put me in a large Italian neighborhood :)
I'm still single, and its getting a little pathetic. I think I'm officially older then Vic or Donny was before they got married. I'm not purposely going for some record, but it seems like this title will be mine and hard to beat. I've gone out on a few dates, the most recent being with another massage therapist. The date went well, we laughed, we smiled and it seemed like she was genuinely interested in me. Oh how was I wrong. A few days after our first date, I asked her out again, and she said that "you are a super nice guy, but we are just way too similar. I like dating, and am attracted to, guys who are different from me." What the hell does that mean? Does that mean she wants someone who is boring, uninteresting? Someone stupid? Eric of the past would have argued my position and fought for a second date. Now, I just said "meh" and deleted her off of my phone. My responses may have been correct (in spirit) but it doesn't make things any easier. Dating sucks.
And there is this girl. A girl who is confused about her relationship status and has ample opportunities to date a wide variety of guys. Rightfully so, she is taking her time and is letting things happen. I've often imagined going out with her, but she has said a few times that she isn't interested in me and that's that. Sometimes I don't want to date her. Other times, I wonder how awesome it would be.
My career is going alright. No, actually it is. For the first time in my career, I'm finally at a clinic where I'm busy on more then 1-2 days a week. The environment is great, my co-workers are great and the clients are great (3 greats in a row, I know, bad writing). But what's making me sad about my career is that I'm making zero money. I get paid monthly, and I'm living hand-to-mouth. Its a horrible and miserable feeling and I would love a chance to get out of this hole. But in order to do that means me leaving massage. Not that I have a lot of people knocking down my door.
So here I am, still a resident of relationship limbo, hanging out with a girl who I'd love to go out with, but knows that it'll never happen, and my career is providing me with spiritual satisfaction but leaving me poor and unable to live and enjoy life.
Happy holidays to me.
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